BOOK REVIEW; Lord of the Barnyard: Killing the Fatted Calf and Arming the Aware in the Cornbelt

By:Tristan Egolf

Um…arming us for what, exactly?

This book was recommended by a guy in my book club. We all get to pick a book eventually and when his turn came up, my initial thought was, “I can’t believe he blew it on this awful book.” At first I kept reading it for only two reasons; first, I was hoping that it would get better. Second, I felt a sort of moral obligation, after all, he had read Sue Monk Kidds, The Secret Life of Bees, for me. The difference is that any bee, even a dead one, is more interesting than the Lord of the Barnyard. The guy who picked this book said it was hilarious, he said his friend had recommended it and he took it on a fishing trip with him. He said he was out there in the middle of the woods “laughing like a schoolgirl.” All I could think was, laughing? At what?

The main character is simply a pathetic excuse for a man. His life is one of hard knocks, one bad thing happens to him after another and honestly, I admired his perseverance, for awhile. First I felt sorry for him, then, I just started hating him. In his youth he has a gift for taking care of his father’s land, his job since his father is dead. He’s good at what he does and perhaps has to grow up a bit fast, which doesn’t make him the most popular kid at the bus stop. But worse than his character, at least his character when he was young, are the townspeople, petty and ignorant. He ends up “losing the farm” as it were, and has to move on to other various occupations, one in a slaughter house. As he gets older and goes through some rough times, rather than learning and growing from his experiences, he only becomes less and less likeable with each turn of the page.

All I could think was “Sheesh, a lot of people have had some hard knocks in their lives but they didn’t just give up and resign themselves to being pathologically pathetic their whole lives.” He meets a few people along the way but doesn’t establish any real relationships due to the fact that he’s just so darn unlikable. The characters are dull, the settings are dull and the plot, if there is one, is dull. There were a few twists and turns in the plot and some of the book did border on mildly interesting. Interesting, not good. I will say that Tristan Egolfs writing was amusing, especially since he gave himself such bland characters to work with. Tristan Egolf is a refreshing change from the typical. Clearly he hasn’t been ruined by one too many community college creative writing courses, his style is unique and at times a little rough around the edges, in a good way.

At first I thought that the reason why this book was such a turn off to me was because it was a “guy book.” As more and more people from my book club started to complain about wanting to switch to a different book, I noticed that the first people to put it down were the women in the group. However, by the second meeting there were a good percentage of the men in our group refusing to read any more of it as well. Still I plugged away, the book club was my idea, I had to set a good example, we read…that’s what we do. However, by the time it was all said and done with this book, only the person who picked it, myself and two others out of a group of 12 had read it in its entirety. As to the first reason I was reading it, the hope that it would get better, it never did and it never had a point.

I wish I could give a better synopsis or give you anything more to go on at all with this book but to be blatantly honest, which is what made me famous in the first place, the book gave me nothing to work with, it’s just kind of a nothing book about a nothing guy. The guy has a real shit life and does little to nothing to make it better or figure out a way to enjoy living it. It’s just sad and a sad commentary on how some people who go down the road of depression and of feeling worthless get stuck in it like a snake in a wagon rut. People are often ostracized and they can come to feel like there is no help and no real support and here’s why: there isn’t.

IN MEMORIUM:
Tristan Egolf passed away in 2005 having taken his own life at the young age of 33 years. His talent was growing and growing, his books getting more and more engaging. Lord of the Barnyard was his debut novel and his subsequent two books, Skirt and Fiddle and Kornwolf turned out better than Lord of the Barnyard, which was turned down by some 70 American publishers. He had left behind his 9 month old daughter.

May he rest in peace.